Darwin Finches aren't Christian

The headline reads "Finches named for Darwin are evolving". But surely this can not be, since we all know that evolution was lie developed by liberal democrats to increase Satan's minions. Evidently, we need to get some missionaries down there, and explain to these finches that their biological process aren't in the Bible so they can't be happening, and that the Devil must have caused the drought that got the everything kick- started. Those poor birds... doomed to hell fire for all eternity because individual variation and random mutation allowed them to exploit a niche which gave them a leg-up at the seed buffet. Surely that must the work of the Devil, since God could not concoct such a devious plan.